Work: 8 things I [don't] hate about you

In honor of my eight month of anniversary of "real world" full-time Qualcommer status, i thought it fitting to share eight lessons I've learned since joining the workforce at 40+ hours a week (mm yum).

1. My worth is not found in my accomplishments. God doesn't love me any more or any less because I meet my deadlines, because I manage sprints well or because I possess large amounts of knowledge about technology. God's love is unchanging, and really quite undeserving all-together. Good day or bad day, employed or not -- I'm still Jessica McLeod, His beloved.
2. Life is about relationships/community. Life isn't about sitting in your office alone all day long. Life is about getting to know people, really getting to know people. Life is about helping each other, communicating and learning from each other. Life is about serving others and loving on them. Human interaction is important, even necessary, and above that, it's part of God's desire for us.
3. Meeting Jesus face-to-face is a big deal. Before joining the business world, I don't think this hit me with such force. But now, knowing how surprisingly (and almost annoyingly) exhilarating it is to cross paths with a Senior Director, or catch a glance at a VP... I start to tremble at the thought of meeting Jesus face-to-face. It makes me giddy with excitement to think of standing in the presence of the holy God.
4. Balance is key. When I first started working full-time, I felt like work consumed my life. I had gotten so used to juggling school, friends, work, family, softball, etc. that I felt like a lopsided soul with most of my time spent at work. I've since learned how to bring balance back into my life little by little, and it's so fulfilling.
5. God is faithful. My top two fears have always been A) Heights B) Failure (specifically with regards to motherhood and paying my bills). God has been so faithful to provide for me financially that I'm starting to wonder why I even had this fear in the first place. Graduating from college and having not only a well-paying full time job, but also a second contributor to the bills (enter: Husband) has made the transition far smoother than it had to be.
6. There's more to "me" than meets the eye. Working at a desk job has given me a little time to think about who I am, what my goals are, what I love and what I'm good at. This job has spurred me to listen to my inner voice, the quiet voice of the Spirit.
7. Commuting sucks. Commuting with your Creator is sacred. The thought of commuting is a rather dreadful one. Sitting in stop&go traffic alone for an hour and a half each day is not my idea of fun. But then I remembered I'm not alone. And an hour and half didn't seem long enough.
8. I'm an anticipatory creature. AKA it's important for me to have something to look forward too. When I was in school, I always looked forward to different events: weekend plans, breaks from school, softball practice, etc. With work, it all just seemed a little monotonous, especially after the wedding planning ceased. Solution: plan mini trips and other little things to get excited about even if it's just a cup of tea on a Monday morning. This new pattern for me has transformed my outlook on life and has even helped me related to the Israelites as they waited anxiously for the Messiah.

"I hope it will be obvious that my reflections are not the creation of an independent mind, but the fruit of a tree planted firmly in the soil of constant meditation on the Word of God." - John Piper

Find a penny, pick it up

All the day you'll have good luck

A couple pennies I picked up this weekend:
1. Friday afternoon. It never fails to make me jump with joy.
2. Gilmore Girls.
3. Jeremiah made dinner Friday night.
4. Working to clean out our spare room.
5. Starbucks.
6. Crafting with Stacy.
7. The swimming pool.
8. A trip to Michael's. Mmm.
9. Coke at McDonald's for only $0.79. Great idea, Ronald.
10. Never ending pasta bowl @ Olive Garden.
11. A lovely evening with the McGoverns.
12. Sleeping in-ish
13. Sunday in Fallbrook: church, El Jardin (ah so good), winning card games, hanging out with the in-laws, Duke&Daisy
14. talking with Jeremiah about our dreams and our future
15. waking up to a fresh stack of pancakes this morning

A little paint goes a long way

Because we're an old married couple now, we spent our Friday night quietly at home. Jeremiah studied for the CPA exam and I organized our spare bedroom which sometimes doubles as my craft room. I finally cleaned out the closet, setup my new sewing machine, and organized some of my craft supplies. Mmm...


And now that that's clean, I knew right where to go this morning when Stacy came over to craft & drink tea. With some inspiration, I painted this little beauty for my sister. I hope she likes it.

A girl can dream

Sometimes I have this dream that I come home from a long day at work to see these lovely Anthropologie glasses and bowls set beautifully on our kitchen table. My heart smiles. And then I wake up.

Megbabe travels North.

This little gem of a lady joined us for dinner last night.


We had chicken cordon blue, candied yams, green beans, fruit salad and the vino. It was a special treat to see her pretty face, as always. There's something magical about sharing a meal with friends.

24-jackbauer-mmmm

This week was my parents' 24th wedding anniversary so in honor of them, here's a lovely picture of them in front of the best pizza place on this side of the country.Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad. Thank you for being role models to Jeremiah and I. We love you!

The start of our family

The phone conversation went a little something like this:

Mrs: I bought us a pet!
Mr: What?!
Mrs: Yeah, a pet... well, actually two.
Mr: What are they?
Mrs: A surprise.
Mr: What are they?
Mrs: You'll see when you get home.
Mr: Um...
Mrs: They live in a tank, but they aren't fish.
Mr: Oh gosh...

About a month ago, I was strolling around UTC and found these little guys in Brookstone. What a lovely little addition to our kitchen. I'm convinced Jeremiah thinks so too... he just hasn't told me yet! ;)))

And the honeymoon continues....

A couple weekends ago I wasn't feeling well. Actually, I was just plain sick. After a long week of work, Friday night was full of: foot massages, tri tip dinners, a chick flick and otter pops being served to me.

Thank you, sweetheart. I owe you big time.

call me 'Chef Boyardee'

I have to say, I've surprised myself with how much I actually cook. AND not only is it edible, but it tastes good. (Well, I think so... and if Jeremiah doesn't... we haven't been married long enough for him to tell me!)

Roast Beef Salad: roast beef, tomato wedges, red onion, goat cheese, homemade vinaigrette.

BBQ ribs, shredded cheesey potatoes, watermelon balls & rolls. Summer BBQ: Cheddar jalapeno burgers, french fries, fruit salad, mozzarella/pepperoni pasta salad and raspberry lemonade.
Beef kabobs, garlic mashed potatoes and pineapple.
Chicken salad, yams & sliced pear.
Taco Tuesday tostadas.

Quite a lovely weekend

Friday:
My Sister's Disney-themed 18th Birthday Party

Saturday:
California Omelet at Nick's in Ocean Beach
Thrift Shopping in North Park
Girl Chat with Aubrey
Grocery Shopping
Finished making our Christmas cards
Romantic dinner with Jeremiah
Marley&Me

Sunday:
A few chores
French Toast Breakfast at Cody's in La Jolla
Walk around La Jolla Cove
Gelato at Gelateria Frizzante
Read books/magazines at Barnes&Noble
Lay out at the pool
Watch movies at home
Play Scrabble over dinner

Meet Jessi: the ultimate list maker

Things I want to do within the next 5 years:
- Do a Cancer Walk.
- Double pierce my ears
- Make: honeymoon photo album, a 2010 calendar, pretty place cards for our table
- Learn to sew
- Learn Italian
- Read: Same Kind of Different as Me & Through Painted Deserts
- Travel to Seattle, the East Coast and Hawaii (and Europe, at least in my dreams)
- Camp in Yosemite
- Take a dance class
- Join a couple's Bible study
- Have a baby

My "I don't need it, but I want it" List:
- Nikon Digital Camera
- MacBook Pro
- Beach Cruiser
- BluRay Player
- Benefit's new perfume - Laugh with me Lee Lee
- Vintage Pyrex
- Fiesta dinnerware
- Scrabooking supplies
- Gift cards to Michaels, Joanns, Anthropologie and Nordstrom

great is Thy faithfulness

I'm in such a different place than I was in earlier this year.
Death. Loneliness. Illness. Loss. Refining.
Newness. Love. Life. Healing. Relationship.
Thank you for Your faithfulness, God.

And thank you for making men and women different. Thank you that we both have something to offer each other. And that we can help each other using our strengths.

Initial thoughts: I am relational, but I very much understand finding purpose in achievement. Perhaps, I'm a bridge.

Help me see my strengths. How can I use them to deepen Jeremiah's life? And the lives of my friends and family.

I'm not in control. And turns out, I'm not God... thank goodness

"I release the need to determine how things "should" be..."

This quote made me realize that my expectations were just a form of control, of my need to know what the outcome would be.

My heart resonates with what she's come to realize.

A good read

I can’t put this book down. Not necessarily because I’m so eager to find out what happens next, but because as I read this book, I feel like I am encountering God. Young has such a beautiful way with words. And his book The Shack has most definitely been added to my Top 5 list.

Without knowing much about the book, Jeremiah chose it as part of his wedding gift to me. Though he’s not a fan of reading much, I sure hope he picks this one up.

An extra helping of grace, please

I want to be kind. SO badly I want to be kind. But it’s just not how I innately am. Some people, they’re born like that. Sure they’re sinful, sure they have other issues, but they are just so gosh darn nice without even having to try. I’ve always wanted to be that way. But instead, people laugh when I say ‘I’m a nice girl.’ Sure, I have glimpses of compassion and thoughtfulness, but all-around… not a nice person.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve made it my goal to be nice. To think of others first. To do things for other people without them asking. And then not to care if they don’t even notice. I’ve tried so hard to say and think nice things. But I feel like I can’t even get through one day without my inward ugliness spilling out.

I make it my goal in the morning: I’m going to be patient today. Not with everyone (no, don’t want to reach to high). Just with my husband. I will be patient with my husband. And I can’t even make it through an entire day. I harp on him for leaving cupboards open, lights on or dirty dishes in the sink. I make fun of him for something he says or something he’s watching. I tell him to do things instead of asking nicely. Every day this happens. And I’ve had enough.

It’s time I start with being patient with myself. If I can’t extend myself simple mercies, I’m never going to make it through the day as a nice person.Just because I make one mistake doesn’t mean it’s time to give up and try again tomorrow. I can learn from my mistake, say a little prayer for some help, and move on. At the end of the day, I don’t need to tally up all my shortcomings. I don’t need to tally up his either. At the end of the day, I need to thank God for another beautiful day. Thank Him for the grace He’s shown me and pray for some more grace for tomorrow. God knows I’ll need it.

New Years 2005.

Immediately. It takes me back. It's funny how music does that.

Anytime I hear any part of Jeremy Camp's Walk by Faith, I'm taken back. Back to that tender age of seventeen. Back to New Year's Eve 2005 at Knott's Berry Farm. Back to his arms. I've been in his arms many times since then, but few times compare to that night. It was our first night with my family, our first night with my friends, and our first night as boyfriend and girlfriend. He was three years older, the ever-mature 21-year old who was wise beyond his years. I was seventeen, innocent and naive. I hadn't felt pain, not yet. I hadn't experienced the hurt of the world. I looked at him with star-filled eyes and fell hard for him. It wasn't the kind of lust I had felt before. It was a deep, forever kind of friendship. It felt right. It felt real. And it felt eternal. He stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my upper body as we listened to Jeremy Camp play, my head on his right shoulder. It seemed like a private concert, like it was just the two of us. The rest of the world disappeared and I was at peace. All was right.

He asked me that night why I had invited him. I was flighty and avoided telling him I was into him. But it was clear. And it was clear (at least from my point of view) that this would last forever. It was only five days later that I knew he was the man I would marry four or five years later. And boy was I right. May 31 seemed so certain ever since that New Years Eve in 2005.

How lucky I am to have grown up with him by my side. How lucky I am to continue to grow older with him, learning, laughing and loving along the way.

And how lucky I felt today, when Walk by Faith filled my earphones and the last five years played out quickly through my mind. I am so thankful for the growth, the life, and the love that I've seen in the past five years.

Thank you Jeremy, for making that New Years so memorable and for bringing me to tears today.